Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken. – Albert Camus
When it comes to life decisions, whether one wants to end a long term relationship, or even a marriage, change careers, change cities, or anything else that may dictate a change in the whole flow of life, there seems to be a fine line between holding on and moving on. It’s true even for lower scale life choices that may only effect you on a smaller scale.
When it comes to holding on, waiting for a situation to improve, it commonly feels like the safer choice. It’s the one your mind and habits are most familiar with, the idea is simply “well this is bad, but what if things are worse on the other side?”.
On the other side, if you choose to move on, there is always the risk of giving up too early. Did you fully commit to improving things? Were you just playing at it timidly because you prematurely decided to end or change things because it was easier then whatever you had to do for recovery?
There are lessons to be learned from choosing both paths, regardless of the situation. Unfortunately there will never be a right answer, and no article on the internet can magically help you create the conditions when one is true over the other. It wouldn’t be a fine line if it was more obvious then that.
And yet, there are ways to help you make the choice that is likely to benefit you the most. If you feel you’ve stopped growing in a certain environment, or both you and your partner have stopped growing in a relationship, that can be a clear sign it’s time to move on. It may sound scary to “start over”, but it’s the you with everything you learned from the last experience that goes into the new one. You may be starting fresh, but you aren’t returning to 0 and then working your way back up, you’re starting where you were at the end before, and reaching new heights.
You’ve somehow managed to deal with all your life experiences thus far. You’ve dealt with all kinds of varied experiences. You’re not special for it, it just seems to be a capacity of humans. If you’re worried you didn’t hold on long enough, and gave up too soon, or if you keep trying to solve something that’s not solvable, there is nothing wrong with that. You’ve got that in common with every other human around. Yet, if you’re aware that something needs to change, see what steps you can take immediately to see how that would play out. At worst, you’ll enter a new situation with all the experience you’ve gained so far. If you “made a mistake”, you’ll carry brand new knowledge and experience going forward.