The Beginning And The End

It’s an interesting feeling completing a cycle of the heroes journey, everything in the real world is the same as when I left it, but inside me, it’s like everything is both exactly the same and entirely different. – Alex Dirdara

Behold my level of modesty in quoting myself in the opening quote. Yet it’s a special occasion. As of the day of this posting, July 25th 2016, it is just past the two year mark of when I entered this journey on July 24th 2014. The events of my first post climaxed on that fateful day on July 24th, the one where enough happened in just the right way to spark my awakening.

In two short years, I’ve gotten a job I love, working with wonderful people. I’ve built up a social circle of inspiring friends. I’ve tried dozens of new things, and continue to do so to this day. I feel lucky to have had the opportunity, and am so grateful in each moment that passes. I’ve even managed to take part in some grand circumstances I would have never dreamed of before.

It feels fake to look back two years ago, and yet I don’t feel I’m a different person at all. I’ve merely eliminated a lot of the illusions that crippled me throughout the years. It was a process of unlearning that continues unto today. It would be boring if it ever really ended too.

So what was the single greatest thing that’s happened you may ask dear reader? *drum roll* … It was the discovery of space. There is a very practical side to this, as well as a very spiritual aspect too.

To start with the practical, I’ve found infinite applications of space. That is, to leave space when a loved one needs it. To leave space when you’re on a first date, and notice how it provides a platform for the other person to contribute, instead of simply running through a list of all your greatest accomplishments. To see the confidence that comes from taking up space, both externally and internally. To feel you truly deserve to occupy that space. Perhaps that last one was a little more spiritual.

In spirituality, it is the discovery of both the space inside of me, and the space on the outside. The space that is consciousness. The one that is not worthy or unworthy. Not a loser or a world champion. It isn’t concerned whether you get the girl or the job. It simply is space. A space that can be filled with anything you want, emptied, and then filled again with something else. It doesn’t mind. It doesn’t have to be so esoteric. Consider when you break out of a cycle of thinking, anxieties, fears. When you sit there and just embody yourself, taking life a breath at a time. Do you sense how where previously there was worries and fears, there is now a new kind of empty space? Don’t take my word for it, try it now and find out for yourself.

To me, this space of consciousness that pervades me, and everything else, is the closest thing I see to a god. That’s because nobody has to teach it, it doesn’t take time to learn, it can’t be studied at all. It’s simply always there, just sometimes forgotten. You don’t have to force yourself to remember or imagine its there. It’s there when we let go of the drama in our lives that pretends its relevant and important.

I like to pay attention to the lyrics in songs, I’ve found quite a bit of inspiration for different parts of my life in them. Among the many inspirations for this song was Kanye West’s Everything I Am, where the Hook contains the line “Now everything I’m not made me everything I am”. From the day we receive our names, we start attaching things to our identities. The space you are, is none of those things though. When you realize you aren’t any of the labels you place upon yourself, everything you are, is space. From there, possibilities start to manifest themselves in whole new ways.

 

 

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