Confessions of a professional self-helper

I could put one of dozens clever quotes at the top of this post that would set the mood for some great life lesson I want to talk about, but not today dear reader.

“If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer.” 
― David Deida

Alright, alright, one small quote will do.

A funny thing starts to happen when you gain when you develop an addiction to learning, though even that’s an odd concept isn’t it? There are certainly worse addictions, though most of those are more noticeably bad, which gives them a leg-up over this one.

Analysis Paralysis

I can tell you hundreds of things about human behavior, why this guy said this thing, what she meant by that statement, what this guy’s body language is saying, and certainly most of them I’ve confirmed in person too, beyond simply study.

At some point it reaches a peak where more doesn’t seem beneficial. Most of the world has gotten by just fine without learning all of these intricacies, they aren’t necessary for survival, yet they certainly help if you intend to thrive instead of simply survive.

Analysis Paralysis is the over-thinking and over-analyzing of situations, which I’m certain you can see how it could effect someone who has studied things to such depths.

Finding The Best Way

Tied to the above, a part of me always feels the need to figure out the best way to do something. Spending more time planning and looking for the best angles, and spending far too long trying to perfect a thing before beginning it. This is a lot less of a fun way to live.

Spoiler Alert: While there are more effective ways to do something, there is never a best way. You can waste a whole lot of time in this search. [With the exception of things that require technical skill, like a surgery or building a bridge, those need to be pretty spot on]

Moving Towards A Solution

This is a subject I’ve yet to find the perfect solution for. Wow, I actually wrote that! I wrote that I was looking for a perfect solution to no longer finding a perfect solution to things!

That live insight aside, I’ve come to appreciate a focus on practice. On seeing where I can take action on my goals in a way that might end up like a bit of a dorky fumble, but that at least gets me out of the state of planning for perfection.

I’ve done so by taking things a week at a time. By scheduling little things in a few growth areas, and seeing how I can eliminate time and activities which don’t line up to where I’d want to be a year from now. As they say, the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. It’s really difficult for me to intellectually accept taking things slowly, but I’m seeing how paralyzed process is much slower than baby steps.

I’ll certainly make future posts about the progress in this area.

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